Is retail right for you?
Wonder no more, friends! I’ve devised a sure-fire personality test that will determine absolutely whether you’re cut out for a career behind the counter.
Simply answer the multiple-choice questions below and I’ll determine your Retail Suitability Quotient (RSQ).
Be sure to provide your name (or pseudonym if you prefer) and your email address and you’ll receive your RSQ within a few days.
| Name: | |
| Email Address: | |
| Is your faith in humanity easily shaken? | No. It takes an utterly abominable act like genocide to make me question the nature of man. Somewhat. The nightly news often tests my faith in people. Yes. When someone tries to buy cigarettes with food stamps, I add another page to my manifesto. |
| How attached are you to your dignity? | Very. It’s the one thing I always insist on keeping, no matter what the situation. Somewhat. It’s important to me, but I try to have a sense of humor about things. Not at all. I’m more than happy to wear a costume and wave at cars in 100 degree heat for minimum wage. |
| Under which conditions would you expect the mall to close? | A blizzard A hurricane A tornado The apocalypse None of the above |
| How do you prefer to be addressed? | Sir/Ma’am. I demand an air of respect. Mr./Mrs./Miss. I expect some degree of professionalism. First name is fine. I don’t have any ego hang-ups. “Hey you!” or a curt whistle will do. |
| How much abuse can you tolerate? | None. Abuse should never be tolerated. Not much. I’ll make it clear when you’ve crossed the line. A fair amount. I have a pretty high boiling point. A lot. My skin is so thick from being mistreateed, I’m bulletproof. |
| How do you typically deal with someone who you feel is being unreasonable? | With patience and understanding With a firm hand and straight talk With an AK-47 |
| Which of the ten federal holidays do you expect to have off? Check all that apply. | Thanksgiving Christmas Day |
| What type of health care are you accustomed to? | HMO PPO A first-aid kit and a wish |
| Which of the following retirement plans do you find the most realistic? | 401(k) Social Security Online Texas Hold’em |
| Pertaining to customers, which philosophy do you agree with the most? | The customer is always right There’s a sucker born every minute Live and let die |
